Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohio
I guess I’ve been surrounded by “hot heads” all my life, but I must have inherited my own mother’s calm demeanor. In person, I usually back down from conflict, not wanting to say something I didn’t mean, especially in the LC setting. It’s always been a horrible dilemma for me when others blame me for their tantrums. What, it’s my fault you blew up? I pushed your button? Do I then also “have the right” to lose it all over you?
Here, dozens of stories come to mind. I remember this one time with elders. I grew some courage, and decided not to take the blame for something stupid he did. The more I calmly related the facts, he went ballistic. I was nearly hospitalized, but I felt the Lord was happy within. I stood up against the bully. Physically hurt, but I had my dignity! I had the truth! Worth suffering for, eh?
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Crafting our language to avoid “triggering” others is certainly beneficial in many instances. For example, a rape victim who was assaulted when she was walking home drunk at night need not hear “actions have consequences!” when opening up to someone about what happened. Could there potentially be a conversation at a later date on how to conduct oneself safely? Safety in numbers? Designated drivers? Learning one’s alcohol limits? Sure. But not now.
Still, there are instances where one may get “triggered” no matter how the other’s speech or text is crafted or whether it is in the moment or sometime in the future. Take Benson Phillips, for example. When John Ingalls fellowshipped with him about the Lees and the direction The Lord’s Recovery was headed in, he was quite calm and modest. Godfred Otuteye, on the other hand, was frank and earnest with what he felt was wrong. He wasted no time with the usual song and dance that Recovery leaders like to do when defending themselves. He did not desire multiple hours-long sessions of "fellowship" which consisted of talking in circles and getting virtually nothing done. John was like a flowing stream, while Godfred was like a bolt of lightning. Regardless, both of these brothers were seen as “contentious” and “divisive” and “rebellious” by Benson Phillips and Witness Lee. This was not because of their choice of words or their demeanor, but because they did not immediately and unquestionably submit to “the Ministry” and dared to even assume that something was wrong. To Benson, this was simply garbage, perhaps even “true trash,” that needed to be avoided. It was a cancer that needed to be removed. Lepers that needed to be put out.
This is why I understand the OP’s thoughts. Does Benson’s son Ben really want to know what happened? Do they really care about why these people left? Or do they just want them to come back and “take Christ.” Just “let go and let God” and ignore the “bones and feathers” of The Lord’s Recovery? Forget about all the bad stuff and don’t talk about it because it makes everyone feel uncomfortable?