Hello Dear brothers and sisters,
I must take a different position. Much of what I am reading sounds strange and foreign to me. Here are a few of the statements that stand out.
The following are from Thankful Jane. I will high light in blue her statements and my comments will be in black.
LC teachings were off concerning marriage and family. How many Christian churches can you go to today that teach you the church comes before marriage and family? Where is this in the Bible?
Of course that is no where in the Bible. I did hear from some like Samuel Chang such statements but this teaching was among those that came from peculiar personalities which had a lot of influence. I mentioned this phenomenon in my history. I should have developed it much more. I was afraid I would come across as too negative and decided to let this part of the history go. This thread illustrated that that was probably a mistake. There were a lot of odd teachings that gained some traction here and there. The anti-marriage stuff was ridiculous. I shot it down whenever I could. The baloney about how miserable the wives could make the husbands and visa versus was one of my favorite targets. I would never let it go by. I would counter about my own experience with Sheryl and report about many other very happily married couples.
We were taught that if you take care of the Lord and the church, God will take care of your marriage and children. This is clearly not biblical, but we bought it. I remember in my first years in the LC being told that Samuel Chang said the most important thing we could do for our children was to be consecrated. That translated into consecrated to the church.
If there was an event for them (school or recreational) and a church event at the same time, the church event took precedence.
I think here we have a clear example of the extreme practice of some of the local churches based on the extreme character of the local elders. Ray Graver in Houston and James Barber in OK City would certainly take this position. The church agenda was everything to them. On the other hand, in Dallas, Sheryl and I would make sure at least one of us attended any of our children's activities. Usually it was both. I always believed it is a heart matter. We should certainly put the Lord Jesus Christ first in our heart and loyalty. If being true to Him and serving the gospel or the saints, required me to miss a middle school football game, I trust my decision is made. But neglect of the children is not in question. We must care for them.
One time my husband tried to be an assistant coach for a Little League baseball team of one of our sons, but the baseball schedule and the meeting schedule didn't mesh, so the coaching went out the window. Same with the time the Little League games were played. Same with every single thing our children were involved in.
Twice I coached my sons little league/Pony league teams. It required that I miss some meetings and I was an elder and full time brother. There were two other boys from the church on the team. We had a great time. I was the assistant coach. I will never forget one of the parents telling me that my being a coach had saved the experience for his son and I was the only reason they finished the season. That really meant a lot to me as I did believe I was in the Lord's will to help that group and it was an opportunity to be a witness for Christ. Two of the boys, friends of my sons, came to know Christ as savior. They both came from unbelieving homes and never attended any type of church. Of course, I enjoyed it. Since I was a former baseball player, I did show off at times and demonstrate some skills that those kids had never seen. My sons, who were both on one of the teams, relished it when I would toss a ball in the air and drive it 375 feet in the air or demonstrate how to throw a ball harder and farther than the boys had ever seen.
Witness Lee said we should never have regrets
I am thankful every day that the Lord has had mercy on my children. The one thing I did right was not cram the program down their throats. If they didn't want to be involved, they were free not to be. I never made them "call on the Lord," etc.
I am still waiting for the day when I hear an ex-LC leader say, "It was not biblical to teach that the Lord would take care of our families if we took care of the church. That teaching was damaging and hurt a lot of people. I am sorry."
I whole hardily agree!!!
I hope I never taught that. Someone let me know if I personally ever said something like that or seemed to agree if someone did say something like that. If I ever did, I am sorry sorry sorry, my bad, my bad my bad.
Husbands were looked down on if they did anything to help their wives
Really???
Maybe one of those strange notions that some brought in? I remember several times Sheryl and I discussed certain odd practices among couples from Taiwan. We attributed it to their Chinese culture. By the way the Chinese culture and view of marriage is not based on anything in the scriptures. Of course the culture of a southern peasant is of no more value than the Chinese culture but please keep in mind that the southern culture has been very much influenced and shaped by the teachings of Christ. In the Bible, marriage and the family is big, big , big. On many occasions when we were counseling couples we contradicted WL or something they had heard and shared our own experience and what the scriptures taught. We spoke with many couples before their marriage and with many after their marriage to give them counseling. I never remember ever ever saying something like put the church first. Somebody let me know if I did. If so. please erase it forever.
From Finallyprettyokay
I wrote in another thread about his teaching of children being 'wrappers'.
I never heard this until I read your earlier post. I believe it was actually reported to you by an elder. Maybe Lee taught it and maybe something just came up in conversation and this man picked up on some cute expression and wanted to impress someone. I saw that happen on many occassions.
As other posters have written, children watched their parents burn pictures of them.
I never burned anything. My understanding of the passage in Acts was the new believers burned things related to magic, demons etc. I did not have anything like that. I had been a Christian for several years as had my wife and when the burning "flow" hit Texas we had nothing to burn and felt no complusion to prove anything to anyone. I did see some in Houston burn some items they believed had occupied their heart. I never saw pictures of children being burned but I did hear of that happening in California. I find it hard to believe that someone would burn pictures of their children in front of their children. That is scandolous and replusive.
I would ask everyone to use some discretion about painting the bad family image on everyone. It is a little libilous. I agree with Dennis that it can be counter productive.
By the way, we took family vacations. We took our kids to Penny Whistle Park and to water parks all the time. We made the pilgramage to Six Flags over Texas at least twice a year. That was usually the low point of my year as my wife made me ride the rides with my daughter. I have a very sensitive inner ear but Sheryl enjoyed watching me turn green and stagger off of the rides.
Of course we had to go to the Texas State Fair, a great time was had by all and we passed out gospel tracts. Birthday parties is a big thing for my wife and still is for the grandchildren.
What about Christmas? Hang on. My mother opposed Christmas. She was an improverished share cropper and migrant worker. She told us how she dreaded the first day of school after the xmas-New Years vacation as she would be forced to lie about what Santa Clause brought her. She would have actually have gotten nothing. Her family of seven childrens celebrated xmas morning by each being given a half an orange and a cup of fruit cocktail. She was very offended by the Santa Clause myth and believed it undermined faith in Christ. She got in troubles a few times because we kids would tell our friends there was no Santa Clause and that our mother had told us so. So I was not a Christmas celebrator long before I ever heard of WL. But we did not want our kids to be left out of the loot receiving. We gave them cash money and took them to Toys R Us and let them shop and shop and shop. My boys would take about four hours but they got the absolute most out of their money and selected exactly what they wanted and got their presents early. All their friends were envious and wished their families did things the Rutledge way.
There you have it. Family is big big big and the LCS agenda is optional.
In Christ Jesus there is hope for us all,
Hope, Don Rutledge