[Hope]

Regarding a case study which is part of the proof of the anti-family practices and grounds for indictment of the Dallas church.

Here are a few quotes from various posts which seem to represent how my experience in Dallas is not legitimate or that I am in denial or simply covering up or lying. Take your pick. As more details have come out, I am absolutely certain I was not in that get together and had no knowledge of it. I can believe two young people were seen kissing in the parking lot at the meeting hall. But there are big holes in the rest of the story.

Quotes from posts:

it's been intimated that The Church in Dallas was somehow without problems in this area, and Matt came out to refute that notion. Please consider another thread with reference to The Church in Dallas, The Thread of Gold:
When Sally Martin (the sister whose arranged marriage I described previously) was in high school, she was reported to the elders for being seen kissing a young brother in a car after school. Subsequently, during a conference at the Church in Dallas, she was summoned to a private meeting. When she arrived, she found that her parents had also been summoned. According to her, neither she nor her parents knew what the meeting was about prior to being asked to attend. Sally was seated at the head of a long table. Her parents were included at the table with approximately sixteen Local Church elders from Texas and other states. They proceeded to talk to her about her inappropriate behavior while her parents said nothing.

She told me that the whole time became a big blur to her because she was in so much pain from the embarrassment and humiliation of such a confrontation. She lived with the pain of that memory and suffered under the sanctions they placed on her. She also suffered having to face those elders at other Local Church meetings and conferences. (363–364)

Jane goes on to state that this was a matter that should have been broached with her parents for her parents to handle. To subject a young girl to a council of 16 elders from two states sounds like a horrific injustice to me.

For example, how many times did elders in local congregations discipline other people's children? It happened all of the time. It happened without informing, involving and working with the people who are commanded to love and nurture these children (the parents).

P.S. Based on what I have heard from others it is possible that the Texas Region (inclusive of Dallas) was more extreme than other regions of the US.

Quote from the sister posted on the forum yesterday,

This instance occurred at a conference in Dallas at which time someone told me I needed to go next door after one of the meetings. Maybe it seemed like a good idea since we were all gathered in Dallas???

BlessD told me that she has a clear memory of there being four elders from each of four churches present (16 elders): Dallas, OKC, Houston, and Austin.
.

First big hole in the story: It happened in the house next to the meeting hall
If the elders were going to transact something they always met in the elder’s room upstairs in the meeting hall. We would have wanted privacy and the so called big house was grand central station. When the long table with 16 men plus parents plus young sister sitting around it were mentioned, well that could not have happened in the meeting hall as there was no long table. There was a dining room in the house off from the kitchen and living room. Of course it had a table, but there is no way 19 adults are crowding into that room. It simply could not have happened that way.

Second problem: Sixteen elders from four churches are summoned to a meeting after the conference meeting? I have tried to piece together a time when there were a total of 16 elders in those four churches. A Texas area conference in Dallas would have been before the completion of the Irving Hall. I have thought hard and for the time period of 1974-5 through 1982 I cannot come up with more than 14 possible elders as the total for those four churches. That is the top number if we counted all who served in those four churches inclusively and I doubt if there were ever that many at a specific point in time.

Third problem: The various elders really did not want to be brought into the local issues and problems of a specific church. The sort of meeting described and put forth as representing the elders or churches overstepping its boundaries did not ever happen as far as I can recall. Why would I lie? Am I in such deep denial that my memory has been erased? If elders in Houston or OK City or Austin overstepped on a local level, I could not say one way or other. Could Ray Graver? I would believe just about any odd charges against him. He liked creating a mess and then jumping into it. Best to stay clear was my philosophy.

Now let me offer a possible and believable frame for the story. Young people seen kissing somewhere, after school or in the parking lot of the church building before or during or after a meeting etc. Could happen anywhere. Witness reports to his or her local elder. In this case we now know it was Houston. That elder tells another Houston elder. They note that parents who live in OK City are also there. They decide it would be convenient to get with them and the daughter during the conference since they are all there. They ask one of the Dallas elders or deacon for a place to get a few together after a meeting. (If they asked an elder he most likely gave the task to a deacon who would know what might be open for the use of the Houston brothers.) Deacon arranges for the dining room in the house to be available. Person living in house who is overseeing it lets others staying there, permanent and out of town guest know that the dining room will be in use for a certain period of time. People in house go about their business. At best the atmosphere is semi-private.
Houston elder contacts OK City elder and informs him of the situation and would like him to attend the meeting and would he contact the parents. OK City elder decides to ask another elder to be there. The only ones who really know what is about to happen are the elders from Houston.

Now let us look at the room. Maybe two elders each from Houston and OK City, the parents, the young sister, a Dallas deacon serving as traffic cop. That is eight, not 19. Eight could get into the dinning room comfortably. Maybe the brother or sister overseeing the house popped in to offer refreshment. I can certainly understand that in the young sister’s mind the crowd looks like the Mongolian horde. Could be she counted four elders and in her mind it became four elders from all the churches. Whoever set this up was not just insensitive but dense. Could have been Ray. As we see the lack of wisdom has spawned a long line of problems.

Since this was no doubt done on the fly, who was to speak to the parents? Fell through the cracks. Since they were ignorant when they got to the meeting, they probably did hold their fire until they could speak to the daughter.

This is a plausible frame for the incident. The other is not.

According to TJ, the sister said the whole affair was a blur. In the sister’s report on the forum, she says “someone” informed her of the meeting. I have to conclude nothing is really clear about that incident and all the inferences and sweeping charges that have put forward should just be dropped. Believe me I am not afraid of digging down deep on this case since I am very certain it is not what it was reported to be. I would rather let the sister go and “move on” as she has said she has.

Don Rutledge