Quote:
Originally Posted by rayliotta
But this thought occurs to me, for folks who are just coming out of the Recovery -- which can be a traumatic experience -- as well as for those still in the Recovery, but who are having doubts: And that is, that people may benefit by hearing that their specific experiences were being mirrored elsewhere. Hearing tales of the bullying and "public shaming" experienced by others, may help to put in perspective our own experiences of being bullied or manipulated. (It helped me, at least a little!)
But as you point out, some of the specific practices or sayings were localized, which makes the conversation more challenging.
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As long as we can accept each experience as being true without insisting on it being universally true, then we have a place to go with this.
Yes, as someone (you?) pointed out, there are some specific things that we see in the leadership, such as always defending the ministry and saying overly-broad and spiritual-sounding things to ring-fence our actual freedom to be only within the bounds that they are willing to tolerate. These leave a little room for differences. And those differences will be influenced by the nature of the individuals in each place. Not all leaders are megalomaniacs. Some are simply true believers who have real jobs and think that it is really all true. And with the lowered temper of leadership, there will likely be a lowered tendency to buck it, therefore less observation of the kind of shaming that was seen in other places.
In Dallas there was really only one such person in the years I was there. And there were little eruptions around him because he wielded his "spiritual authority" like a sword, whacking off heads and arms on occasion. Asking questions that put you in an uneasy position. Even, on occasion, seeming to be at odds with the "flow from the throne," but since that was always in flux, who really knew what the latest flow was. One time, shortly after Lee made a comment about the supplement songs that were written to modern tunes being somehow worldly (Don't remember the specific way it was put after nearly 40 years), I lightly marked through the obvious targets with a pencil. At one point, this guy saw my supplement and asked what those were for. But the question wasn't really to elicit an answer. The demeanor was a sort of shaming. It was irrelevant that his implication was that my minor action (which was consistent with the spirit of Lee's latest word) was wrong. He was making demeaning it. And it was from leadership. It lowered my thoughts concerning my own assessment of things.
Over time I got over it. Partly because he moved off to another city, then word came back that he was evicted from leadership over money issues, left, and eventually returned to Dallas to live in the house ne never sold. He later led a small home church of other LRC castaways. By that time I would never had considered being part of anything he was involved in.
I am aware that he did much more overt verbal assaults on others. One of which I have some personal knowledge, though I was not present when it happened.
I have discussed the little I know of it with a former elder who was present at the time and his comment was that both he and another elder were quite taken aback, but that since this one had moved to Dallas from Anaheim, there was hesitancy to speak against it at the time.
I had at least one other run-in with this guy. Remember the badges for the training? Did your locality have extreme rules about wearing them? Had to be on before you entered the property (including the parking lot). One year I was part of the ushering team for the video training and on occasion I had to go early and turn on the air (don't remember which time of year at the present). I was there probably 30 minutes before anyone else would even begin to arrive early. Went in and turned on the air. In the couple of minutes I was inside, this guy arrived. He saw that I had not yet put on my badge and tore into me. I almost tore into him (verbally). Probably should have. It might have saved me from more of the LRC nonsense. But I just took it. (Very un-me.)