Quote:
Originally Posted by calvinnme
Yes, but when I was in the LC 1977-1981, I saw people getting married who literally did not know one another. They were not arranged marriages at all, just the acts of completely unexperienced young people whose courtship did not get past the infatuation stage. When they got engaged I was often surprised that they even knew one another. Thus there were some disasters. One that stands out is a marriage between a girl and guy who were completely unsuited to one another. They were plenty old enough - 25 and 26 - but when the infatuation stage wore off they were already married, they could actually "see" one another for who they were, and the arguing began. She began to see him as not smart enough for her and thus had no respect for him. They tried joining the army. They tried having a baby. Ultimately after about eight years of misery they parted ways. In his 30s he found a girl just right for him. I don't know what happened to her. I could tell other similar stories of disaster, but you get the picture.
I agree that the world's way of courting for 10 years before marriage is ridiculous. I think six months to a year is plenty of time. That gives you time to let the infatuation stage wear off and see if - the other party is a spendthrift, or is addicted to gambling, or has annoying habits you cannot abide, or if they have layabout relatives you will be expected to support, etc.
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In retrospect over 4 decades I Have not seen any evidence that suggests hastily arranged marriages or longer courtships endure better of one over the other.
Anecdotal examples can be cited to support any contention.
Drake