[zeek]

Originally Posted by Trapped

In my personal experience, as a church kid, it is difficult to have any real direction in life when pursuing any direction is represented to you for your whole growing up years as replacing the Lord/an idol/doing things your own way/chasing after things that are all going to burn anyway. It's hard to put energy toward anything or be excited or passionate about something when doing so has been so condemned. It's a great path directly to depression.



This is it exactly. Going against the brothers' fellowship is painted as going against the Lord. Problems ensue!

On a small scale, at one point "the brothers" had to make a decision that affected my daily life (this was not unsolicited fellowship or meddling....because of my certain situation I asked them and was looking to them for a solution that they were rightfully on the hook for....it is hard to explain without getting more specific). The fellowship came back that "the brothers feel good about XYZ solution" and upon hearing it I immediately realized that that fellowship was unequivocally the worst possible solution they could have come up with. (There was one vital piece of information they were not aware of that I’m sure would have changed their decision). I realized then that their "feeling" was not the Lord's "feeling", because the Lord would never EVER have led anyone to "feel good" about that solution, regardless of what they know. I then realized their "feeling" is only based on information they know, which means it's just from their mind or from their experience, rather than from the Lord's feeling. For someone who lived for decades under the impression that the brothers' fellowship is from God's lips through their lips to our ears.....that shook me, and I realized the absurdity of listening, without my own independent thought, to these people who otherwise have no daily or personal involvement/interest in my life.

The good news is that you seem to have learned much from the experience.