LC Raised Child - Spiritual warfare in household (Help!)

[aron]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

So how do I tell my dad and the saints who reach out to me about upcoming meetings, conferences, and reading appointments, that I just don’t want to join them anymore? I’m afraid that if I do, I will be a ”prodigal son” case that will be discussed among the leading brothers, and then I will either be isolated, or the saints will try to make even more of an effort to hook me into meetings again.

Originally Posted by ByHisGrace

My parents and I would fight almost every day until I leave home for a bit. Then they would calm down for awhile and it would begin again. I'm disappointed with myself for not being able to find strength in the Lord and speak with gentleness (as my bf did to me). My friend told me that remaining in the church is like poison that will eat into you slowly...

I hope that posting on here isn't showing dishonor to my parents, we've always been very close but I really don't know where else to turn at this point. They're making my relationship with my bf very difficult because of the church issues. They think that he is the only reason why I've left and the reason why our family is having problems. They would only be satisfied if I date a brother from the LC even though my dad used to say "As long as he loves the Lord". It's really starting to appear like I have no choice but to leave home.

One sees this, where children want to honour their parents and be obedient and live peacefully, yet find the local churches intolerable. The parents/family are "Sold Out" for the local churches of Witness Lee, and the unhappy poster just wants "Out", like, right now. And if that person is financially independent, they can usually move on. As the saying goes, "The Lord's recovery isn't for everyone."

But for those aged 15 - 22, it's often not as clear-cut. But I think that separation is possible if one does it by manageable degrees. If in group housing, get a dorm room next semester (group housing was big in my college). Or, go to a school where the LC isn't as prevalent... geographical relocation is a big one! Next, focus on doing well in studies. One can't go to every training, every conference, every meeting -- "Sorry, big exam tomorrow!!" Then use that degree or skill to get a job that can sustain a lifestyle financially. Little by little, separate from the local church without activating their rage/persecution complex. It just takes patience and time, a persistent effort, and common sense.

[aron]

Originally Posted by aron

I think that separation from the local church is possible if one does it by manageable degrees..

To add to those comments, it's probably worth considering what you're going into, instead of just on what you're leaving. In my case, clueless as I was, I got right into a group that was even more religiously legalistic. I've told the story before, so won't elaborate, but suffice it to say that I left that one even more frustrated than when leaving the local church.

In retrospect, the reason was simple: I had no purpose nor meaning to my life beyond what someone supplied me externally. I was ripe for anyone to come along and put "their" purpose on me. Or, barring that, to drift into the sensuality and empty pleasure-seeking of the world. It took a while, but one day, by chance or luck or God's mercy, I figured out my purpose, of why I should get out of bed every morning and face the new day. As Robert Frost wrote, "that made all the difference."

Getting "tea leaves are meant to go into water" or "gloves are made in the shape of a hand" or someone's homespun religion or philosophy didn't work. I don't need Witness Lee's purpose for my life, but I needed to know my purpose, why was I here? What was I going to do with my life? Nobody else can answer those questions for me, and I can't answer them for others. But in the words of Jesus, if first you seek, then you'll find... i.e., no seeking, no finding.

Don't just "run away" from the local church, but allow yourself the necessary luxury of searching the realm of possible state spaces that are available. Find your own specific purpose and everything will follow. And when you know, you know. That's what's so cool about it. Nobody needs to say 'this is it' - you'll know. In my case it was a long frustrating road. But I daresay it was longer because I didn't make a conscious effort to use the tools given me, and the opportunities around me, to explore the realms of the possible. I just drifted in apathy, waiting for some charlatan like Lee to come in and foist his dreams on me. It was a rough road, I'll tell you! But one day, I figured out why I'm here, and everything changed. It was like, -- flash -- the world suddenly had meaning. Incredible.

[ACuriousFellow]

Originally Posted by aron

To add to those comments, it's probably worth considering what you're going into, instead of just on what you're leaving. In my case, clueless as I was, I got right into a group that was even more religiously legalistic. I've told the story before, so won't elaborate, but suffice it to say that I left that one even more frustrated than when leaving the local church.

In retrospect, the reason was simple: I had no purpose nor meaning to my life beyond what someone supplied me externally. I was ripe for anyone to come along and put "their" purpose on me. Or, barring that, to drift into the sensuality and empty pleasure-seeking of the world. It took a while, but one day, by chance or luck or God's mercy, I figured out my purpose, of why I should get out of bed every morning and face the new day. As Robert Frost wrote, "that made all the difference."

Getting "tea leaves are meant to go into water" or "gloves are made in the shape of a hand" or someone's homespun religion or philosophy didn't work. I don't need Witness Lee's purpose for my life, but I needed to know my purpose, why was I here? What was I going to do with my life? Nobody else can answer those questions for me, and I can't answer them for others. But in the words of Jesus, if first you seek, then you'll find... i.e., no seeking, no finding.

Don't just "run away" from the local church, but allow yourself the necessary luxury of searching the realm of possible state spaces that are available. Find your own specific purpose and everything will follow. And when you know, you know. That's what's so cool about it. Nobody needs to say 'this is it' - you'll know. In my case it was a long frustrating road. But I daresay it was longer because I didn't make a conscious effort to use the tools given me, and the opportunities around me, to explore the realms of the possible. I just drifted in apathy, waiting for some charlatan like Lee to come in and foist his dreams on me. It was a rough road, I'll tell you! But one day, I figured out why I'm here, and everything changed. It was like, -- flash -- the world suddenly had meaning. Incredible.

A gradual transition may be best, but it is probably inevitable to get pushback. You don't simply walk away from The Recovery, especially if you were born into it. The ones who can leave quietly without disturbance are the ones who were never really into it. They weren't "good material," so no one bats an eye at their departure. No, it's the ones who have invested and "tasted" and really tried to give themselves to it.

Or the children they bear.

I was part of the children's ministry. "What a shame," they would say, "that half of our church kids leave The Lord's Recovery. We need to do something. We need to cherish them more. We need to get them open to the ministry. The families are primarily responsible for this. The mothers and fathers."

I'm certain you can see why fathers and mothers in this denomination cannot simply let their children go, especially if they are full-timers or elders or some other leading ones. What a stain it would be on their reputation and on their locality. What a blot it is on the great "Ministry of the Age," and "The Lord's Recovery" which is supposed to be separate from and above the "deformed," "degraded," "devilish," and "satanic" denominations.

I feel blessed, then, when I left The Lord's Recovery. There was a church in the area with whom I became acquainted at around the same time I encountered The Recovery, and it never gave me anywhere near the multitude of red flags that The Local Churches did. Shortly before I left Lee's sect, I was already beginning to reconnect with some old friends there, and that made the transition all the easier for me. Still incredibly painful for sure, but that church was, and is, a haven for me and my family. The Lord has been extremely merciful and gracious with me.

[Nell]

Originally Posted by aron

…
Don't just "run away" from the local church, but allow yourself the necessary luxury of searching the realm of possible state spaces that are available. Find your own specific purpose and everything will follow. And when you know, you know. That's what's so cool about it. Nobody needs to say 'this is it' - you'll know. In my case it was a long frustrating road. But I daresay it was longer because I didn't make a conscious effort to use the tools given me, and the opportunities around me, to explore the realms of the possible. I just drifted in apathy, waiting for some charlatan like Lee to come in and foist his dreams on me. It was a rough road, I'll tell you! But one day, I figured out why I'm here, and everything changed. It was like, -- flash -- the world suddenly had meaning. Incredible.

I’ve said it many times. The Christian life is not about finding the right church…the right place. It’s about finding and knowing the one who died for you. It’s about trusting him and obeying him. Talk to him. Tell him you’re willing to go or stay, nevertheless his will. Tell him what you want then leave it to him to provide what he wills in his time. Finding a church, even “the best” church, will never measure up to knowing him.

Nell

[ACuriousFellow]

Originally Posted by Nell

I’ve said it many times. The Christian life is not about finding the right church…the right place. It’s about finding and knowing the one who died for you. It’s about trusting him and obeying him. Talk to him. Tell him you’re willing to go or stay, nevertheless his will. Tell him what you want then leave it to him to provide what he wills in his time. Finding a church, even “the best” church, will never measure up to knowing him.

Nell

I understand that one needs to center their life on Christ first and foremost, as loving God is the first and greatest command, but seeking out the brothers and sisters is good and healthy, too. Of course one may need time to heal from a place like The Lord's Recovery and should spend the time to get into the scriptures and seek the Lord personally so that they can become mature and learn to discern between good and evil, but that does not mean that trying finding a good or at least decent assembly should be thrown out the window entirely.

That the Christian life entails knowing the Christ and that the Christian life entails knowing the body of Christ, despite Witness Lee's perversions on the matter, are not mutually exclusive.

But something has come to my mind, and that is that perhaps someone may not be ready to leave, and it may not be best to try and rip themselves away yet. After all, Joseph was trapped in Egypt for many years as a prisoner and later a slave. Because of this, I would agree with Nell in saying that one should take their desires to the Lord first and foremost.

I was in it for nine years, and my questionings and struggles really began in earnest in the last three years. I spent much time taking it to the Lord in prayer and fellowshipping with my family about it. Then something quite dramatic happened and it was clear that it was time to move. Perhaps it will not be so dramatic for others, but nonetheless I make my point by saying it took much time of earnest prayer and fellowship.

Unless there is immediate danger or ongoing abuse, one should not necessarily be so hasty to cut and run, especially if they are minors who are financially and legally dependent on their parents, and one should not necessarily be so eager to give themselves blindly and wholeheartedly to the first assembly they come across.

[Nell]

OK, guys. Please take your conversation/s to PM or take a break from posting for a few days. It seems that there is a "failure to communicate".

Robert, check your spelling before posting. You're making a lot of typos.

Guys, read Post #1 again. Most of this conversation is off topic. So clean it up.

Thanks--
Nell
Admin/Moderator