Relationships/Courting

[calvinnme]

Originally Posted by Drake

In retrospect over 4 decades I Have not seen any evidence that suggests hastily arranged marriages or longer courtships endure better of one over the other.

Anecdotal examples can be cited to support any contention.

Drake

This was one example of a disaster marriage due to church approved courting practices. I could write a book on marriage disasters due to the practice of not even getting to know the person until engaged. But if I wrote a book somebody would figure out who all of these people are and I don't want to embarrass anyone.

At the age of 60, looking back at all I have seen, I can say that it is best to know the person well before marrying or you could have a life of unhappiness. What works in China or India does not necessarily work in America. The saying "marry in haste repent at leisure" is, in fact, quite true.

[Drake]

Originally Posted by calvinnme

This was one example of a disaster marriage due to church approved courting practices. I could write a book on marriage disasters due to the practice of not even getting to know the person until engaged. But if I wrote a book somebody would figure out who all of these people are and I don't want to embarrass anyone.

At the age of 60, looking back at all I have seen, I can say that it is best to know the person well before marrying or you could have a life of unhappiness. What works in China or India does not necessarily work in America. The saying "marry in haste repent at leisure" is, in fact, quite true.

I agree that it is best to know the person you are marrying.

Still, other than anecdotal I have not seen any evidence that marriages do better or worse with either way.

Drake

[clever sister]

Originally Posted by Drake

I agree that it is best to know the person you are marrying.

Still, other than anecdotal I have not seen any evidence that marriages do better or worse with either way.

Drake

Unless you know someone doing a study on courtship in the LC following them over a number of decades and recording, not just if they separate or not, but how happy they are in the relationship, I think all we will have is anecdotal evidence.

[Drake]

Originally Posted by clever sister

Unless you know someone doing a study on courtship in the LC following them over a number of decades and recording, not just if they separate or not, but how happy they are in the relationship, I think all we will have is anecdotal evidence.

Exactly.

Any belief can be propped up with anecdotal evidence.

Drake

[aron]

Originally Posted by Drake

Any belief can be propped up with anecdotal evidence.

This coming from someone whose reply is often, "That wasn't my experience", as if your anecdote nullifies the previous dozen or fifteen.

And why are Witness Lee's opinions more believable than anyone else's? Because he said so?

I know, you'll say, "I have found them to be so" but many have found them to be not, and have explained why.

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by clever sister

Unless you know someone doing a study on courtship in the LC following them over a number of decades and recording, not just if they separate or not, but how happy they are in the relationship, I think all we will have is anecdotal evidence.

Biased, self-serving "anecdotal evidence" at best.

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by calvinnme

At the age of 60, looking back at all I have seen, I can say that it is best to know the person well before marrying or you could have a life of unhappiness. What works in China or India does not necessarily work in America. The saying "marry in haste repent at leisure" is, in fact, quite true.

I knew a young Indian Christian from a Christian family in southern India who came here for his education. He was brilliant, loved the Lord, and was perfectly at ease with a marriage arranged by his parents after returning home.

What he described to me was absolutely different from LC arrangements. He spoke of how much time his parents invested into finding the right spouse for him, using a host of criteria so that the couple would be a suitable match. He saw no downsides to this arrangement, and probably witnessed an entire life of family and friends blessed by this custom.

LC marital arrangements were completely different, and never once had such long term preparations, love, and consideration.