Pulled in Two Directions

[least]

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I wish I can articulate like you do. You've said in clear thinking what "IT IS" in the local chuches of 'Lord's Recovery'.
Many in this forum are still truggling in this 'pulled in two directions' dilemma. That's why we write.
In the process, are many outbursts of anger, bitterness, pains, ... And seem to be bias in our views. Compare to me, you are calm, rationale fairly, maintained love and peace and joy.

What you wrote expressed what I feel and think. May be I can pick out small bits of 'not agree' with you. First read, I have not straight away identify what I disagree with your writing. But after every few sentences, I have 'big agree'.

One thing about myself, I resist reading Lee Nee 'Song of songs', don't know why. May be its more resisting King Solomon's 'songs' than the interpretations of it.

I used to like the 'bible study' type messages in LC, but for many years by the Lord's mercy and shepharding, I read the bible as is. Jesus is my shepherd.

I also listen to other christian speakers on youTube due to easy access and 'rebellion' against LC 'one publication' one mota eddict
Jesus still the shepherd, my shepherd. These other christian speakers do not have the 'grip' on my life like taking over from Christ to rule over me, like in LSM 'Lord's Recovery'.

As for the people (the saints, bros and sisters, personal families) in the LCs, is the hardest and most painful 'pulled in 2 directions'. Heart breaking.

Thanks for writing. May The Lord Himself leads you.

-

[googlelight]

Originally Posted by least

googlelight
I wish I can articulate like you do. You've said in clear thinking what "IT IS" in the local chuches of 'Lord's Recovery'.
Many in this forum are still truggling in this 'pulled in two directions' dilemma. That's why we write.
In the process, are many outbursts of anger, bitterness, pains, ... And seem to be bias in our views. Compare to me, you are calm, rationale fairly, maintained love and peace and joy.

What you wrote expressed what I feel and think. May be I can pick out small bits of 'not agree' with you. First read, I have not straight away identify what I disagree with your writing. But after every few sentences, I have 'big agree'.

One thing about myself, I resist reading Lee Nee 'Song of songs', don't know why. May be its more resisting King Solomon's 'songs' than the interpretations of it.

I used to like the 'bible study' type messages in LC, but for many years by the Lord's mercy and shepharding, I read the bible as is. Jesus is my shepherd.

I also listen to other christian speakers on youTube due to easy access and 'rebellion' against LC 'one publication' one mota eddict
Jesus still the shepherd, my shepherd. These other christian speakers do not have the 'grip' on my life like taking over from Christ to rule over me, like in LSM 'Lord's Recovery'.

As for the people (the saints, bros and sisters, personal families) in the LCs, is the hardest and most painful 'pulled in 2 directions'. Heart breaking.

Thanks for writing. May The Lord Himself leads you.

-

Thank you for your reply and encouraging words. It is ok if we disagree on some points, my friend. I dont even know if I agree with myself at times hehe. I think it is a healthy habit you have also listening to other ministers on youtube. I have received alot of help from this myself. I have discovered many Christians on youtube that have nourished me and brought me back to Him. Christians I didnt expect! the Lord can really use anybody and anything. Let me relate to you something that happened to me a few months ago. I was unlucky in an accident and crushed my tibia bone in my foot and the schaphoid bone in my hand simultaneously. At that time, after the surgery, I felt quite helpless. I realized toilet visits, shopping and even going to the kitchen was a big hassle. By His grace a sister helped me during that time, but as she was also busy, there was a day she couldnt help. Now where I lived there was a neighbour who was partying (in the student dormitory) loudly quite often, and it was quite annoying. And he also often didnt clean after himself. I remember I complained to both the Lord about the situation and to my friends. I tried to get along with him, but it was in "the air" that we didnt like each other too much. Now, let me tell you what happened. At that day, when the sister couldnt help, I just realized how helpless I was. Because of the hand, I couldn really do anything in the kitchen to prepare food. So while I was laying on the bed... maybe with a bit self-pity and a few tears, I heard door knocking. I opened the door and saw my neighbour standing there. He said: I heard that you had been unlucky and has been in the hospital, so I have cooked a dinner for you. He handed a big plate of taco to me. I cant really describe that feeling. I was reminded about that verse in Psalm 23:5 "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies."
I really repented that evening; and realized my heart is rotten and judgmental. I had bad thought about this person all along, and now the Lord used him to help me when I needed it the most. How good it is never to judge people. I apply this also to the Christians. Whether he sees the truth "clearly" or, lets say, like I see it, or like the ministry view it, that is not the important thing. As long as He has Christ, I want to have fellowship and have the attitude of loving them. Yes, Jesus is truly your Shepherd indeed my friend.

PS: I hope you some day read song of songs, because it is truly amazing. If you dont like to read Nee or Lee, Hudson Taylor has written Union and Communion which is about that book.

Anyhow Least, thank you for your input, and I pray that the Lord will also lead you and reveal to you all the secrets in His heart for you. You are beloved.

-googlelight