LGBTQ, in LC and Beyond.

[TLFisher]

My question to heterosexual parents (with the LC view in mind), if your child comes out as gay, lesbian, or trans, does anything change?
If so, what?

[awareness]

Originally Posted by Terry

My question to heterosexual parents (with the LC view in mind), if your child comes out as gay, lesbian, or trans, does anything change?
If so, what?

Good point Terry. Finally, a voice of reason.

[SerenityLives]

Originally Posted by Terry

My question to heterosexual parents (with the LC view in mind), if your child comes out as gay, lesbian, or trans, does anything change?
If so, what?

Okay since this thread is still open, I will speak for my parents who are Chinese and who grew up in LC (my mother attended the FTTT and my father is an elder in one of the local churches).

The first year they found out I was dating a girl, my mom constantly prayed for my “gayness” to go away and had a lot of questions, some of them too intimate and embarrassing to put on here. My dad cried (more like sobbed for an entire night) and asked me why I “chose such a hard life” as if it was my fault.

Four years later, my mother asked my gf (who became my spouse) if she would love her daughter (me) forever. She told my dad that it wasnt such a bad idea if we (my spouse and I) took care of each other until we grew old. But there was some grief knowing they might not have grandkids from me, but I have two younger sisters, so thats all good b/c they are in the LC and will most likely marrying brothers. Now every time we come visit, my mom showers my spouse with home cooked meals, her garden plants, random groceries, tea and gifts and say that my spouse is like her “fourth daughter”. My dad says hi to her as well. They know we are living together.

My spouse’s family is Catholic. Her mom, a few months before she passed away, told one of my spouse’s aunts that she was proud that my spouse had found me. She claimed that I was a better person and that my spouse was in good hands, more than my spouse’s sister, who married a man twenty years older than her. Her dad on the other hand, knows we’re married and has been friendly to me on the few ocassions we met.

I’ve heard other church kids stories that are different. My parents took about ten years to grieve over the loss of me not being what they expected. Its like the stages for bereavement (denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance) before they finally finally knew things werent going to change and they met my spouse for the person she is and treat us as any other loved one.

[UntoHim]

Moderator Note:

The past number of posts were moved off the open forum. I think that they were an insult to SerenityLives. She deserves better, and the treatment of this subject deserves better. Let's keep politics out of this thread...isn't it controversial enough without throwing that extra gas on the fire?

Let's let SerenityLives lead the discussion. Does anybody have anything to say about this last great and heartfelt post on 10/3?
-

[awareness]

But Serenity wanted this thread closed. And she told me that she's done with it. So if she leads the discussion there won't be any.

[UntoHim]

Harold, that was before she made this last post. Pay attention mate!
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[Sons to Glory!]

Originally Posted by UntoHim

Moderator Note:

The past number of posts were moved off the open forum. I think that they were an insult to SerenityLives. She deserves better, and the treatment of this subject deserves better. Let's keep politics out of this thread...isn't it controversial enough without throwing that extra gas on the fire?

-

But my post that was taken off from earlier today, had nothing to do with politics! (Ohio & awareness were at it again, and I got lumped in there I think . . .)

[Trapped]

I've been silent because I have no idea what's happening and don't want to waste time if things are going to be removed from the site or prevented from further discussion, which is antithetical to this whole site. I have plenty to say about the articles and claims that were made towards the end of last week, but where is the place to put those responses? Here seems logical since that's where the articles were posted. If SerenityLives is not going to be visiting (which I wish she would stick around) then I don't understand the issue with letting it continue - no one is forcing anyone to read it, and it's not like thousands of other discussions on the topic aren't all over the internet, and those are allowed to exist. However, StG's thread is more tolerant but yet it wouldn't be "things I've learned", but just a continuation of what keeps threatening to be cut off. Can we get some kind of final word on what's happening?

[SerenityLives]

Originally Posted by Trapped

I've been silent because I have no idea what's happening and don't want to waste time if things are going to be removed from the site or prevented from further discussion, which is antithetical to this whole site. I have plenty to say about the articles and claims that were made towards the end of last week, but where is the place to put those responses? Here seems logical since that's where the articles were posted. If SerenityLives is not going to be visiting (which I wish she would stick around) then I don't understand the issue with letting it continue - no one is forcing anyone to read it, and it's not like thousands of other discussions on the topic aren't all over the internet, and those are allowed to exist. However, StG's thread is more tolerant but yet it wouldn't be "things I've learned", but just a continuation of what keeps threatening to be cut off. Can we get some kind of final word on what's happening?

I understand the frustrations of everyone on here but I am at my emotional capacity to deal with anymore of this right now. We can continue on Sons of Glory’s thread for more political issues or biblical interpretations. I originally intended for this thread to be a space for anyone who were lgbtq church kids or family members with relatives identifying as lgbtq to share their experiences. Sorry if I wasnt clear on that. No one is forcing anyone to read this , yes, but I know for a fact that lgbtq church kids who are planning to leave the church will linger on here, since UntoHim’s website is unique and one of the few that exist for ex local church members. Thats why I wanted to end this thread on a good note and close this thread for being clean for those church kids. The other thread can be for more controversial topics related to being lgbtq and Christian in general.

[awareness]

Originally Posted by SerenityLives

I understand the frustrations of everyone on here but I am at my emotional capacity to deal with anymore of this right now. We can continue on Sons of Glory’s thread for more political issues or biblical interpretations. I originally intended for this thread to be a space for anyone who were lgbtq church kids or family members with relatives identifying as lgbtq to share their experiences. Sorry if I wasnt clear on that. No one is forcing anyone to read this , yes, but I know for a fact that lgbtq church kids who are planning to leave the church will linger on here, since UntoHim’s website is unique and one of the few that exist for ex local church members. Thats why I wanted to end this thread on a good note and close this thread for being clean for those church kids. The other thread can be for more controversial topics related to being lgbtq and Christian in general.

I'm with SerenityLives.

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by Sons to Glory!

But my post that was taken off from earlier today, had nothing to do with politics! (Ohio & awareness were at it again, and I got lumped in there I think . . .)

Why are all the events in our life considered as "politics?"

Why instead don't we outlaw these inflammatory links which awareness loves to post?

[awareness]

I'm with SerenityLives.

[TLFisher]

Originally Posted by SerenityLives

Okay since this thread is still open, I will speak for my parents who are Chinese and who grew up in LC (my mother attended the FTTT and my father is an elder in one of the local churches).

The first year they found out I was dating a girl, my mom constantly prayed for my “gayness” to go away and had a lot of questions, some of them too intimate and embarrassing to put on here. My dad cried (more like sobbed for an entire night) and asked me why I “chose such a hard life” as if it was my fault.

Four years later, my mother asked my gf (who became my spouse) if she would love her daughter (me) forever. She told my dad that it wasnt such a bad idea if we (my spouse and I) took care of each other until we grew old. But there was some grief knowing they might not have grandkids from me, but I have two younger sisters, so thats all good b/c they are in the LC and will most likely marrying brothers. Now every time we come visit, my mom showers my spouse with home cooked meals, her garden plants, random groceries, tea and gifts and say that my spouse is like her “fourth daughter”. My dad says hi to her as well. They know we are living together.

My spouse’s family is Catholic. Her mom, a few months before she passed away, told one of my spouse’s aunts that she was proud that my spouse had found me. She claimed that I was a better person and that my spouse was in good hands, more than my spouse’s sister, who married a man twenty years older than her. Her dad on the other hand, knows we’re married and has been friendly to me on the few ocassions we met.

I’ve heard other church kids stories that are different. My parents took about ten years to grieve over the loss of me not being what they expected. Its like the stages for bereavement (denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance) before they finally finally knew things werent going to change and they met my spouse for the person she is and treat us as any other loved one.

Thank you. I have a cousin raised in the LC as I was. One of his daughters fell in love and entered into a same sex marriage. Nothing to get upset about. Just love your children. Many years I've considered how if one of my children came out gay? Nothing changes. They're still my children.
My wife and I have had a transgender living with us for a year and a half. Fearful of going through procedures for the transition. It helped me in my own employment when our team took transgender training.

[SerenityLives]

Originally Posted by Terry

Thank you. I have a cousin raised in the LC as I was. One of his daughters fell in love and entered into a same sex marriage. Nothing to get upset about. Just love your children. Many years I've considered how if one of my children came out gay? Nothing changes. They're still my children.
My wife and I have had a transgender living with us for a year and a half. Fearful of going through procedures for the transition. It helped me in my own employment when our team took transgender training.

Exactly, nothing changes if it’s your family or yourself. Im glad to hear you were supportive of that transgender person. They need love and acceptance as well, considering they get murdered and go through with suicide at higher rates than the rest of the lgbtq community.