Relationships/Courting

[Drake]

Originally Posted by clever sister

Nice, trying to change the subject.

I don't think anyone here has been complaining that at the SSOT there are rules that brothers are not allowed in the sister's rooms or vice versa.

What we are talking about is the prevalent teaching that young people should have no "special relationships" until they are ready for marriage, which apparently the brothers know better than anyone else when you are ready for marriage, and once you are ready you should just go in blind with whoever the brother chose for you.
It's the culture in which elders feel they have the right to split apart or push together young people as they see fit.
It's the environment in which single brother are scared to talk to sisters and vice versa, and for those 'rebellious' ones who do start a relationship to hide it.

I have observed what you described above a very few times in the 40 years I have been in the Lord recovery and I disagreed with it when I saw it.

I am objecting to the idea presented that young people should not have boundaries for if they do they will rebel. I believe this idea is an artifact of our modern day American or Western culture for the most part for other cultures are much more restrictive and though I would not want to grow up in those cultures nor would I wish the restrictions imposed by those cultures on anyone, nevertheless those cultures do not have a high incidence of rebellion among their young people refuting the notion that rebellion emerges out of restriction.

So where as I don’t disagree with those who believe that elders should not be making decisions about who young people marry, I do disagree with the general notion that young people should be able to interact unhindered with each other in mixed gender environments or should be allowed to be alone, and when I say alone I mean without any supervision in plain sight.

Drake